On Christmas, we shared the news that we were pursuing expanding our family through adoption. The news elated our family and friends and our hearts were filled with so much joy and hope. At the time of sharing the news we had a local agency lined up that we thought we wanted to work with. After meeting with them, we learned that they primarily do foster placement and the chance to adopt through them was very small, almost nonexistent. So we regrouped and decided to start meeting with agencies that specialize only in adoptive placements.
We took the time and have emailed with, spoken with, and met with numerous agencies. We took the information from our meetings back and talked about all the options that laid before. We prayed continuously and met with our closest family members in seeking their advice and opinions.
I don’t feel it is necessary at this time to lay out all of the back and forth that the last month has been. What I can tell you is this; my heart is weary and I am exhausted. We are exhausted. The bottom line is this: the cost of the adoption process is something we are not comfortable with. We have gone back and forth and talked and prayed and while there are options, we are so afraid that we will put ourselves too far in financial restraints that we cannot give the child the best lifestyle that he or she so deserves. It is heartbreaking to me that the cost prevents so many families, just like mine from having or expanding a family.
I wish there was a way to look into a crystal ball to be able to see that in a few years and having spent so much money, that it would be worth it. Don’t assume that I don’t believe the money would be worth it. I sure do – every single penny. Regardless, I still wish I could gaze into the future and know that all this will play out and I will have a child. But that’s just silly, isn’t it – life certainly doesn’t work that way. For as much as I have been wishing that very circumstance, I’ve been praying on it twice as much. As we have talked between ourselves, family and friends, we have said that this is what we feel like we are supposed to do in order to grow our family. With full disclosure, I can tell you that I am at a place of wanting to make some sort of decision and move forward with the next step, or begin to seek closure with this and begin to heal. We are at that place. We are doing everything in our power to follow God’s will for our lives – including this and I believe that our hearts remain in the best possible place continuing to try and do just that. But friends, can I tell you how emotionally exhausting this last month has been?
I tell you all of that to ask you for a favor. Would you consider praying for us? Pray that we begin to see some answers regarding our next steps. Pray that we trust His provision whether it’s financially with adoption or for peace in our hearts if in fact, our family is rounded out with us and our spoiled furkids. Please pray for significant answers to prayers for us.