If you were here, I would be grateful for being able to carry you happy and healthy for 9 months until you joined our family. I would sit in your nursery long after you went to sleep and stare at you, giving thanks every second for your presence in our lives. I would be happy to wake in the middle of the night to the sound of you.
If you were here, I would talk to you every day, letting you know how loved you are. When the time was right, I would tell you of the struggles that your Dad and I went through to bring you to us. We endured, planned, and planned again. We longed and waited, cried and prayed. Not a day would go by that you would second guess how much I love you, and how grateful I would be to God for letting you into our lives.
If you were here, I would watch you grow. I would take the time to notice every single thing about you. I would take time to watch you sleep, discover new things, explore. I would like to think that I wouldn’t be in such a hurry through life anymore. I would take time in the summer to have picnics with you, and watch you blow bubbles, ride bikes with you – maybe even splash through the puddles. During fall we would carve pumpkins and you would accompany us on our yearly trip through the mountains, just to enjoy the leaves changing and the beautiful scenery along the way. Of course in the winter we could play in the snow, and you could experience the awesome sledding hills that Mammy & Pappy have.
If you were here, you would make your Daddy and I undoubtedly the happiest people in the world. I know that I would be a better person. I would live in a sense of appreciation with an attitude of gratefulness.
Every. Single. Day.
I like to think that the Lord is using these struggles to mold us into the parents he needs us to be for you. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I believe that we will be better parents for it. I guess I count us lucky in a sense; that God has given us this insight. We will not be careless with our love. We will be better parents for all that we have endured.
Someday when you are here, and you are old enough to understand, I will tell you all about our journey to you.