“Drawing Close”

I have often times thought to myself the reasons God has handed us infertility to deal with. I like to believe in my heart that He is using this journey to make Chris and I into the parents that we will need to be for Baby Bear one day. I like to believe that He is using this journey to bring Chris and I closer together than we would’ve been without these struggles. I like to believe that somewhere amid the struggles, emotions, and tears that this will be used for His greater good.

I also believe that one of the things that has come out of our journey so far is my strengthened faith. The series that we are currently in at church is called “Drawing Close” – yes I realize it’s the same for this post. The series overview is about prayer and drawing closer to God. This past weeks message was incredible, it never ceases to amaze me the words that God puts into my life when I need them most. Now I believe that faith is simply the conviction that God will do what He said He will do – that He’ll be true to His word. What I have been struggling with as of late is wondering if He hears my cries? Maybe my feet aren’t planted as firmly in faith as they need to be..?

The weekend’s message reminded me that when you go to God, things change. That when you talk to Him, He hears you. That a powerful prayer changes situations. That a powerful prayer is an unfailing promise of His name – “therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.” {Mark 11:24} That a powerful prayer should be one of “Thank You’s” and not “I’m begging you’s”. When you pray to God, it will allow Him to come into your life but He will not intervene by default, we must seek Him. That when you seek Him, the opportunity is there for Him to work in your life.

What a powerful message. But, secretly I felt ashamed. Who am I to question God? Who am I to wonder if He has heard my cries?

The drive home was quiet. Christopher and I made small talk during the commercial breaks of the hockey game. But my mind wondered. I thought back to the book of Psalms: “In my distress I cried to the Lord, and He heard me.” {Psalms 120:1}

He heard me. Just because we haven’t been relieved of our distress does not mean He didn’t hear us. I know God will deliver His promises to us – in His time and in His way. The message reminded me that whatever you may be facing, to remember that if you belong to Jesus, He has heard your cries. We aren’t ignored and we haven’t been forgotten. The Lord has it all under control. He has heard, and maybe for now that’s enough.

I have decided that after my appointment this afternoon at the RE I will lift everything up to the Lord, in a way I haven’t done before. I will lift up a powerful prayer thanking Him for all He has done in my life, and for what I believe He will do for us someday. I will ask Him to come into my life, giving Him the opportunity to guide us that the decisions we make are the right ones in an effort to grow our family. That I will draw close to Him as this journey continues to unfold for us.

I thought I knew what I was doing before when I would pray, but I didn’t. If I had I wouldn’t have questioned if my cries were heard to begin with.
I am so glad that a stronger faith has stirred within my heart.


3 thoughts on ““Drawing Close”

  1. Kelly says:

    LOVE that our patgs crossed because of God. What you wrote and continue to write speaks VOLUMES of your character. You’re an amazing gift from God and I appreciate your willingness to let me in your life to get to know you more. Stick with what you are learning through our church and you will continue to see His plan will unfold, leaving EVERYTHING in His hands was what eventually led me to being pregnant. Your already close relationship between your husband and God will only grow.

    • Kelly, words cannot express how grateful I am that our paths have crossed. I told my entire family about you over dinner at Thanksgiving. I am excited to share in your journey and view you as an inspiration. Your faithfulness and trust in our Lord yielded you such a precious gift, and I admire your unwavering faith in Him. Thank you for reaching out to me, and for your encouragement ❤

      • Kelly says:

        God meant us to be friends and you will be parents when He is ready for you to be. Ill never understand His timing and I realize now that I dont need to waste time worrying about things that He has full control over. He is always listening to your prayers, your never alone in this. One day you will be helping another girl like us and He will work through you in a differnt way then. Life is so precious and I dont regret one second of my lowest points because it seriously makes the highs like you said even higher and more magical!

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