At my last RE appointment I was told that I would have to find a new doctor since he would be focusing primarily labor & delivery after the first of the new year. He gave me the name and number of his best recommendation and as we went over the details of my appointment I couldn’t help but feel sad and almost angry about having to leave his practice. This is the first doctor that we had found that I was comfortable with, that I genuinely liked and that I was sure would be the one to help us in our quest for a family.
I am not going to sit here and tell you I didn’t cry. There is even a slight chance that I threw a mini tantrum when I got home that evening. I felt like the last year had wasted away.. that night I went to bed angry and in tears. Since then I did all I know how to do at this point. I prayed. I went to God, in tears and feeling broken. I all but pleaded for Him to let me understand why I had to ‘start over’ again. In talking with my husband about it a few days later we both kind of came to the same conclusion – that maybe a new set of eyes reviewing tests and a new opinion to offer us treatment options is what we need. So in just 2 more weeks I will meet with a brand new doctor. My prayers the last couple days have included patience in making it to my appointment, guidance for the doctors to understand what we need, trust that the doctors will offer us the best possible options and faith that this is exactly where we need to be in our journey to Baby Bear.
So I sit here and wait. Wait for our time. I don’t know when that’s gonna be. I don’t know how it will come to pass.
I will do everything in my power to get us there. I will go to the doctor’s appointments, take any of the medications prescribed, endure the side effects, pay an absurd amount of money, there is pretty much nothing I wouldn’t do if it allowed us to finally have a baby.
And wouldn’t ya know it .. as I sit here pondering all of this 3 – yes 3 – pregnant ladies walk into Starbucks to stand in line behind me to order.
Ummmm yeah, I’ll have what they’re having…