Finding Hope in the Journey

Christmas 2013 has come and gone, and it was nothing less than a beautiful time spent with my family. Our week of Christmas festivities started on Monday night when we went to the Christmas Spectacular at our church. It was beautiful, and a great way to stir those Christmas feelings deep in my heart – that I wasn’t so sure I could find this year. Most of the weekend before I spent in tears, quietly confined to my own self-pity wondering if we would ever have a little one that would get to unwrap the presents from underneath the tree. But just as He has done before, the Lord placed the right words at the right time into my life. During the service, Pastor spoke of Hope, and it being one of the greatest gifts of all that Jesus gave to us.

Hope

On Christmas Eve we spent the night with my Mom and Christmas Day was spent with my In-Laws. I prayed that I would enjoy watching my niece and nephew open each of their gifts with excitement and wonder as children do on Christmas morning. I prayed for peace to know that we will one day experience the joy that they give to their parents. I prayed that I wouldn’t forget the message of a few nights before. I prayed to remain hopeful. As the day went on, nothing but love and laughter filled my heart, and fueled my emotions.

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Amid the hustle and bustle of preparing for Christmas, I have managed to be seen at the RE office 4 times since our initial consultation in the beginning of December. In all, total of 6 blood draws, 13 vials of blood, 2 follicle scans, one double MRI and one teeny-tiny hormonal crying fit in the office occurred during the last couple of weeks. After the results of everything came back from my double MRI, I had a phone call with the doctor who advised that the tumor has shown no growth over the last year and a half – Praise God! All blood work came back normal except my Prolactin level, which is nearly at 100, and needs to be under 20 for me to have any kind of a chance of ovulation. As discussed before, my RE continues to feel that the tumor needs to be more aggressively treated and once my level drops to where it needs to be, I will start injections. She predicts that it will be approximately 2-5 months before the levels get to where they need to be. In the meantime I will start Femara in conjunction with the Bromocriptine in an effort to combat the tumor and help along some other little things that need fixin’. Having said all of that – she remained more than optimistic and hopeful. She assured us that all other testing came back normal and looking good and furthermore assured Christopher and I that of all Endocrine/Infertility issues, that this is the ‘easiest to treat and overcome..’

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So now that the hustle and bustle of Christmas is over with for another year, I am anxiously looking ahead to all that is to come in 2014. I believe that great things are in store, because for me – I will always have Hope.

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