Yesterday while lounging around on a very cold Sunday afternoon amid blankets and puppies, sipping on hot tea, I came across an article that really hit home with me. The more I read it, the guiltier I felt. This post described my life, and what I had let it become over the last several years. Dealing with infertility, I feel like I am living life in a slow motion waiting game. Be it for test results, various treatments, appointments, or to start the cycle over. In the beginning, when we received our diagnosis, I was on a quest to find out any and all information. However, it quickly became an obsession. I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to do anything else. I made this diagnosis my priority, and I let it overtake my life. I pushed friends away because of it, and I secluded myself from family when sometimes, they were what I needed the most.
“Your dreams of a baby are on hold for an indefinite amount of time but your life isn’t.”
Dream. Encourage yourself to dream. Our lives are made up of dreams, wishes and expectations. Before you began this quest for a baby you had other dreams. Whether it was to travel, get various college degrees, whatever it is – everyone has a dream. Now is the time to make those dreams come true and even create some new ones.
Travel. Travel as much and as often as you can. Even with the ever rising costs of fertility treatments or if your saving money for adoption your vacation options can be limited. One of our favorite things to do is to pack a picnic lunch, load up the pups into the car, and drive north. We either head to camp or Benezette, Pa to take in the mountain scenery, and if we’re lucky do some sightseeing of the elk that roam. Summertime, you better believe we are taking a tent with us to do some camping. It’s nothing fancy, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes it’s just good to get away even if it’s just for the day with your spouse or a group of friends.
Learn. Learn something new. Infertility had done some serious damage to us emotionally, worn us out physically, and (at times) tapped us out financially. Figure out something that you’ve always wanted to learn. Blend in for a little while. It might just prevent you from being completely isolated but distant enough to feel secure. Then, regaining the excitement of learning serves as another emotional boost. Challenge yourself to learn new things, read books, and keep growing.
Create. What are your hobbies and interests? Don’t have any? Get some! The world of Pinterest and Youtube tutorials has opened up so many doors for the non-crafty. The nights that I am having a hard time sleeping or need something to do other than worry I scrapbook. Or I read. Or I blog. Sometimes I clear my calendar and decide that I am going to completely revamp a room in the house. (Lord help my husband when I get into a painting mood!) A couple of years ago, I didn’t have any of those outlets. I’ve even been able to cross some things off my Bucket List! And let me tell you the sense of accomplishment you’ll get when completing projects will help ease the anxiety of waiting.
It’s never too late for us to dream. Make a list right now (if you haven’t already) of non-baby related goals for this year or your life’s Bucket List. I’m not saying give up or get distracted from fertility treatments, just have other focuses too. From personal experience, that’s the part that I forgot to do. I regret it now, but am grateful I caught myself.
When we finally receive the answer to our prayers, we may not have the time to go after certain dreams – not that we’d mind the sacrifice.
Maybe we will never have children of our own, but I am determined that we will still have a life full of photos, memories, friendships and accomplishments.
Sometimes, hopes of having a family are on pause but your life shouldn’t – go live.