I realize I’m a couple of days late, but we spent much of our Easter weekend at church and with family..
So! If you’ve been following along in my story, you may or may not have known that I was recently asked to do a video for our church that would be shown at all Easter Services. I quickly agreed, but once the reality hit me of what I was actually going to do, I panicked. I talked it over with Christopher and the more we prayed about it, the stronger the need grew in my heart to do this.
During the days leading up to the filming of the video, I wrote notes. I analyzed what I wrote. I scribbled over things, and rewrote my notes. I analyzed those notes. But I didn’t want to over-analyze them because I didn’t want to come off scripted, but I wanted to have some sort of a strong idea about what I wanted to say. Roughly two weeks ago, part of the production team from our church came over and we started the filming process. The B-Role shots were simple. We have wooded land surrounding our home with nice streams so we incorporated that. Christopher and I took our pup for a walk along the stream and made small talk to fulfill the needed requirements for B-Role. When we got back to our house, the guys from church setup their equipment and I kept reviewing the (11) pages I had of notes. Before we started my story portion, I was told I wouldn’t be allowed to use my notes because “the story isn’t there, it’s in your heart..” and just like that all 11 pages were gone. Those 11 pages were my safety net. As we started filming I was nervous, but eased into it. I stumbled over words and we did retakes, but in the end it came together in a way better than what I could’ve hoped for. I remember putting on the audio box just before we started filming and thought to myself “God, please let the words come from my heart that you want me to tell, let this be used in a way to glorify You..”
The final video would be played at the beginning of all Easter services at the multiple campuses of our church. Saturday night Christopher and I were scheduled as greeters. I will be the first to admit, I was a nervous wreck. I hadn’t seen the final product, and it was all out of my control at this point. I kept telling myself to relax, that God’s got this but I still had butterflies. We sat with friends of ours who had had reached out to us knowing our struggle to support us as they had fought their own battle to have a family. The very same friends we were sitting with brought their own twin miracles to church for the first time since being born. I found myself holding a handsome little boy while watching my final video with tears streaming down my face.
I found it ironic that Chris and I got to meet these miracles on Easter as they themselves are an answer to prayers after a long struggle.
I realized I was holding hope – literally..
The services were beautiful. So much so, we got up and went back yesterday morning. I held my own and didn’t cry when my video was shown again, until the round of applause came. And then again during Pastor’s message when he spoke of Hope. Not the wishful thinking kind of hope, but Easter Hope as he defined it “a deep seated conviction that because of the resurrection of Christ I can face my future with confidence…”
I am grateful that I had the opportunity to share my story. If it made a difference for one person, it was worth it – and I would do it all over again. To watch my testimony, follow this link:
In the midst of this battle, unsuccessful fertility treatments, expensive medical bills, physical and emotional pain, I have Him. In Him, I have Hope. My Hope is no longer dependent upon my changing circumstances, but instead it is rooted in and unchanging Savior.