I realized last night that it’s been just under three weeks since my last post. A lot has gone on in the last month, so make yourself comfortable..
I’ll start this blog post off by giving you an update in our lives. For the last 15 years or so my husband worked midnights in EMS. For the last 6-8 months he had been working during the day with my brother in law to make some extra money for us to put towards our expenses, mostly treatments. I could tell it was beginning to wear him down and finally I stepped in and told him he needed to make a decision. While I understand and appreciate what he was doing for our family, it was beginning to take a toll – and I was concerned. We spent many nights talking and praying and he decided that he wanted to start his own business and work with my brother in law full time. I’ll be the first to tell you I was hesitant, but have supported him since day one. As you can imagine, the lifestyle change has been huge. We are in a new phase of our lives and learning to live with each other all over again it seems. It’s weird having someone home at night to share the bed with and having to fight someone for bathroom time in the mornings. We are adjusting and most things are going smoothly. I have oftentimes hoped that he would transition into a shift that he could be home in the evenings. While I don’t like having to share our king size bed, I feel much safer knowing he’s home with me at night. I’m beyond proud that he’s chosen to work to better himself and our family. Schultz’s General Contracting is now in it’s 3rd week and business is good.
The first week that he started into his new business venture was the hardest for me. Sleep was hard to come by and it was an adjustment overall. As mentioned before Chris is Type 1 Diabetic and we’d talked back and forth that this was a concern for me. With such a drastic change in his lifestyle we knew that we’d have to keep an eye on his BSG (Blood Sugar Level) now more than ever until his body adjusted. I had moved to the couch in the early morning hours a few Saturdays ago and I found myself being awakened by our pit bull Dakota whimpering and whining. At first I told her to go lay down and I’d walk her when my alarm went off for work in an hour or so. She persisted and started to lift my arm up with her head letting it fall – this is unlike her so I snapped to attention and heard a commotion coming from our bedroom. I turned on the lights and found Chris in a diabetic seizure. I don’t think going into detail is necessary, but I’ll be the first to admit that I panicked. It was the scariest thing I’ve had to deal with, and for the first time – even though I knew what to do – I stood there panicking. Looking back, I am grateful that our pit bull woke me up, I am convinced that she saved his life. (yes, it was that serious, and no I’m not over-reacting..) I am beyond grateful that his Mom and Dad live close enough that they were there within just a few minutes and were able to help. I am grateful for the role that modern medicine plays in his life. I am grateful for the power of prayer; while his Mom tended to him and administered what he needed, it was all I knew how to do at that point. I kept asking God not to take my husband, for Him to lay His hand upon him and heal him. And while we’ve dealt with diabetic ’emergencies’ before but this was by far the worst. In the weeks following, we’ve both ‘healed’- for Christopher his jaw and tongue which were bit badly during his seizure and myself – well I’m on the mend. The first couple of days after I barely slept and now I still wake up during the night to check on him and his BSG. He’s visited the doctors a couple of times in the last few weeks and all his labs look great. She attributes the incident to such a drastic change in lifestyle and indicated it could take weeks or a few months for him to fully adjust.
So I tell you all of that to tell you this.. we are going to take a break. We are not giving up. But for me personally to try and handle all that has gone on in the last month or so has taken it’s toll. I am finding myself trying to help manage his new business, adjust to our new lifestyle, care for his health and continue to try and have a baby. I’ve done a lot of praying, and we are both content right now to wait a few months until things calm down before diving back into treatments. I didn’t think I’d ever get to a point where I’d want to ‘stop’ trying to conceive, but I’ll be honest and say that I can’t fully put my heart into this part of our journey right now when I am more worried about making sure my husband’s health is where it needs to before moving forward. And furthermore, I want to make sure that he is healthy enough to be around for a long (long) time when our blessing finally does come. Some people out there might not understand this part of our journey, but quite honestly, it’s not for them to understand. We are both content kicking back and enjoying each other’s company for the next couple of months, taking some pressure off, and using this time to re-adjust. For now, we’ve just decided to focus on his health, and enjoy life..
This past weekend we took our niece to her first ever Pittsburgh Pirates game in celebration of her awesome report card and perfect spelling test. We made sure she took in the sights and sounds of the best little ball yard in America.
I had more fun watching her have fun, than worrying about the game – although it was nice that we got to ‘Raise the Jolly Roger’ for her first game!
My Furkids also made sure not to forget their Momma on Mother’s Day. And while it holds a tender place in my heart, I made an effort to celebrate my Mom, MIL, and myself because I do have a Mothering heart. When the desire to put someone else’s needs before yours occurs, you become a Mother. In all things it is better to hope than despair and while I don’t love this period of waiting, I do love who I’m waiting for..