Broken Together

For the first time yesterday I stumbled upon Casting Crowns’ new song “Broken Together.” I heard the song but didn’t really ‘listen’ so later in the evening I looked up the lyrics.

“What do you think about when you look at me; I know we’re not the fairytale you dreamed we’d be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand and we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times; before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we’ve drawn the battle lines; will we make it through the night”

These lyrics sure pulled on the ol’ heartstrings. I really related this into our Journey to Baby Bear. Chris and I didn’t get married and expect to still be fighting for a family nearly 6 years later, but here we are. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again, infertility has been the best and worst thing that’s happened in my life. There have been days when I feel broken, whether it be my physical body, my resolve or my heart. Christopher has had his broken days too. I have my imperfections. My husband has his. You have yours and your spouse has theirs. The whole notion of the song that struck my heart surrounds the idea of being able to lay down who you thought your spouse was and love the person that they are. It’s only when life throws it’s most wicked curveballs that you see into the heart and soul of your spouse when they are ‘broken’ and how they help you to mend when you are ‘broken.’

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Marriage is tough. I think that we tend to bring a lot of fairytales to the picture when it comes to marriage. We bring them to the altar with us thinking ‘..This is going to be perfect. We can just wake up together every morning and no one is going to have morning breath. We’re not going to have any problems and life will be great.’ And then once the problems hit, you don’t know where they fit into the picture perfect life that you once imagined. Eventually everyday problems will get in the way – let’s face it life happens and the problems may come to you in ways that you may never expect. It might be a financial issue, an addiction that creeps into your life, family problems that you face, or health issues.. whatever the case may be, they will happen. I know I’ve matured in my relationship with Christ based on my reactions to what life throws at me nowadays. I wasn’t always like that though, and I admit I still have a tendency to react in a way I know I shouldn’t. I catch myself when I find that I am not extending the forgiveness that someone is seeking, or the patience that is needed at that moment, or the grace that is deserved, even though God does it for me day in and day out.

I’ve learned that life certainly isn’t perfect but God’s plan and His timing are, and I think sometimes that journey is more about what God is doing in me more than anything else along the way. I trust God to be at work in my life when I am broken, and I trust that He is working in my husband’s life on his broken days too. Only God is going to be able to make this work so that broken people who are broken together come through it on the other side by the Grace of our Perfect Healer.


“How it must have been so lonely by my side; we were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align, and we wont give up the fight”

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5 thoughts on “Broken Together

  1. Kelly says:

    truer words could not have been spoken, I too have struggled what exactly with what you are saying in a marriage. We never expected to you have infertility problems, and there are days when I didn’t even know if I belong in this marriage. Now looking back it’s a lot easier of course, and the love that we have is even stronger. I thank God for our strong marriage and for helping us get through this difficult time in our life and I thank him for what he’s given the two of you because honestly without that close relationship you would not have anything the buildup on that even think of having a family.I love that you posted about this because so many people don’t want to talk about it and they do want to act like everything is just fine. And like you said it may not be infertility that you are married is it going through it could be a ton of other things.but just think how your life would be without God in it, and then that reminds me all the time where my mind needs to be.

    • You are so right, Kelly – “just think of how your life would be without God in it – and that reminds me all the time where my mind needs to be” – perfectly said. This was a hard post for me to write because I know I have my faults – but it hit my heart pretty heavy as soon as I heard the song.

  2. I love what you said – only God can make it work for two broken people to come together on the other side – I believe He will for you and me! Yes, Lord! Heal and restore!

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